The Breakdown

Before I ever get started on posting things here, let me just get something out:

Online diaries are fucking stupid.

Why in the name of God would you want to publish all your most personal thoughts online for the world to see? What kind of masochistic exhibitionist would want to do that? I personally love it when somebody actually does post all their super-personal thoughts [along with their shitty Goth poetry] and then, when other people go online to this PUBLIC website and actually READ those "personal" thoughs, the original poster gets their panties (yes panties, because it's women or effeminate men 99% of the time) in a goddamned bunch.

This blog (I hate the term 'blog, by the way) will have none of that namby-pamby bullshit. You want to know my innermost thoughts? Then you better learn how to read minds, cause I have always been under the impression that private thoughts should stay that way...private.

Other things you can expect not to see here:
- Retarded IM/Chat speak [e.g. "LOL I wuz tirred so I took a nap! ROFLizzles! How r u ppl 2day?"] Just for the record, this shit is pathetic. How much less effort is it to type Y-O-U as opposed to U? And people wonder why the rest of the world equates Americans with stupidity and laziness. Go to a chatroom with 12-year-olds and your faith in the children of tomorrow will take a serious blow.
- Online quizzes. I don't care what X-Men character I am, or what kind of liquor I am, or what flavor of non-dairy sorbet I most resemble. You wanna do online quizzes? Fine. Me? No.
- Drunken posts. I never understood the popularity of calling people when you're drunk or high. Usually, people do it just to TELL other people they're inebriated. Big. Fucking. Deal. I hate those phone calls, and to me, getting drunken IM's is just a step below that. So naturally, drunken blogging is the lowest form of communication, with the exception of the aforementioned teen chatrooms.
- Overused cliches from pop culture. I'm not Rick James, bitch, and neither are you. Leave the funny business to Dave Chappelle.
- A daily rundown of what I did every single freaking day. Why do people do this? It's not a goddamned PalmPilot, it's a web log. Maybe people just take that "log" bit too literally. Maybe they're on to something. Maybe I'm the one looking at it wrong...So I take it back, I will inform everybody of every single thing I do, right down to taking a shit. And look forward to some Goth poetry about said shits.

I will, however, post links and things I find interesting. And if I see a good movie or hear a good album, I'll write something about it [and no spoilers for movies, I promise. I'm an asshole, but not a douchebag.] But I'll try to keep things interesting. Because if it's not interesting, why post it?

In fact, why post at all? I guess because it's easier than instant messaging all my friends one after another. That, and you people need something to do at work that doesn't involve productivity. Don't worry, anything not safe for work (NSFW) will be marked as such and linked to. I could be an ass and just randomly put some porn in the middle of the posts for your bosses, but again, see above re: 'Asshole'.

Speaking of productivity, Zack, get back to FFXI. Go ride a Chocobo or something.

/mj out