NCAA 07, Song-and-Dance TV: Completely Worthless

So I've been playing EA Sports' NCAA Football 07 on my Xbox for the past week or so, and have decided that I'm just not going to bother with EA Sports games for a while. NCAA 07 is just 06 with roster updates and a different "focus". Last year the game was based around winning the Heisman trophy with your user-created player, this year you try to make him the Big Man on Campus. Graphics are fine, the rosters are all updated, but really, those are the only two good points. The same tired, lame banter from Corso and Herbstreit is back (how many years will they use the same old samples?) and it is lamer than ever. EA kept up the tradition of their yearly "screw with the kicking game", creating a lame 3rd-person camera for punt returns and making placekicking entirely controlled by the right analog joystick. I really wish this game had a decent AI for the off-the-field aspects.

For example, if my team (Georgia Tech, of course) is 11-0, has scored 1500 more points than any team in the nation, and has never even been trailing in a game, how in the world am I ranked #2 behind Texas Christian? How is TCU even 11-0 anyway? Where's the realism in that? How did in my two seasons I've played so far did Duke manage to beat Virginia Tech both times? Oh, and don't even get me started on the Heisman balloting in the game. Calvin Johnson, my team's All-American WR with his meager 4000+ receiving yards and 52 touchdowns isn't the Heisman winner? How in the hell is that possible?

The game's playable, and fun I'm sure with a group of friends around. I'm more of a single-player guy so frankly, there's nothing new to offer me in NCAA 07. I do however appreciate that EA got things right and made #21 the best receiver in the game. Honestly, he's too good. Guy never drops anything.

I think I'll rate this following the rating system I set up back in January. Oh, and go ahead and apply this same rating to Madden 07. I'm not going to even bother with that game either.
Rating: Nothing Spectacular

While we're on video games, my latest favorite is Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventure for the Gamecube. I absolutely love the single-player mode, where you can control your four Links and set them in formation to perform various tasks and solve puzzles. It's the puzzle solving aspect of the game that I love the most. Well, that coupled with the always-enthralling adventure aspects of any Zelda title. The graphics are fun, a mix of Link to the Past and Wind Waker. While I'm sure it would be fun with three friends and the GBA link (and it is, I've played it that way), I appreciate that Nintendo took the time to creatively convert an all-multiplayer game to a worthwhile single-player quest. That, and since the game is $20 now, how could you pass it up? Oh yeah. If you're like me and broke. That's how. Good thing I had a gift card left over from Christmas.
Rating: Hot shit

The other gaming fix I've had lately is for Xbox ports of older games, namely the Quake series, Doom series, Hexen and Heretic, Duke Nukem 3D, and a few others. I found an Xbox port of M.U.G.E.N., a 2D fighting engine that allows users to create their own characters, stages, and moves and fight them against each other. Check out this video on YouTube that shows a sample of what the game has to offer. The other Xbox port I've really enjoyed is Beats of Rage, which is a freeware 2D beat-em-up engine, similar to older games like Streets of Rage, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade, and The Simpsons Arcade games. What kid growing up in the 1980s didn't at one point blow through $5 beating The Simpsons or X-Men or TMNT in the arcade? Those were the days. I used to love going to the arcade with my Dad and Sister. Now it seems like everything's either a driving game or a shooting game, and at least $1 to play. It all went downhill after Mortal Kombat II. At least Silent Scope was fun.

Clerks II was funny. Not quite Mallrats funny, but definitely worth seeing. The movie feels more grown up than it's prequel, but then again it should be - we're looking at the characters a decade later. I have openly professed my man-love for Kevin Smith and his movies, so you knew I was going to see this movie sooner rather than later. I highly recommend it. Can't wait for next week's prime offering, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Looks hilarious.

The more I think about it, Sufjan Stevens' "Illinois" might be the best album I've ever heard. I've listend to it a few more times this past week and just can't get over how good it is. That, and "Twin Cinema" by The New Pornographers too. There really were some great albums last year. This year's been decent, but no show-stopper like those guys. The Shins have a new album due soon. Wonder if that'll take the cake.

Oh, and has anybody else been watching the NBC show Treasure Hunters? I enjoy the premise of the show, but really, I can't stand one huge aspect of it. When a team arrives at a certain juncture, they get a "Motorola Message" - a video clue that plays on their cell phone. NBC runs the video of the message, usually some terribly boring info and the clue that teams need to figure out. I don't have a problem with NBC running this clue when the first team arrives, but the geniuses at NBC must believe that Americans really do have the attention span of 3-year-olds and they proceed to replay the clue in its entirety with the arrival of EVERY OTHER TEAM. If there are five teams and they arrive at different times, you're gonna hear the clue FIVE FREAKING TIMES. Good lord. Oh, and where did they get these contestants? I swear, there's about two decent teams, and the rest are complete and total idiots, including the team of so-called "Geniuses". I enjoy the basic premise of the show - a treasure hunt through America - but it needs some fine tuning if it's going to be successful past season 1. A tip to producers: turn to Game Show Network and watch some old re-runs of The Amazing Race. Now that is an adventure show done properly.

Yes, while I was a proponent of hating reality shows in the past, over the past two years I have found myself watching more and more of them. Why? Because the good ones make for great television, and I just ignore the bad ones. I think I've lumped every reality show into one of these categories:

1) Song and Dance
I really can't stand these overblown Karaoke singing shows. I've watched maybe two episodes of American Idol and I really just don't see its allure. I can't for the life of me understand why America would want to watch "really good karaoke" on national TV for three hours a week. I avoid this category of reality shows like the plague. Examples of these worthless shows include American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, and Rockstar.

2) Action and Adventure
By far and away, these are the most appealing to me. They offer quite a bit of excitement and the travel involved usually is pretty impressive. I like seeing all the exotic locales that some of these games are filmed in. Examples include Survivor, The Amazing Race, and Treasure Hunters.

3) People In Confined Spaces that Will Eventually Hate Each Other Having to Do Things
Ah, here we always get to see the finer sides of humanity. What happens when you shove a bunch of people into a house? Somebody inevitably gets pissed off. I like these shows when the housemates also have to compete for something, because who doesn't love seeing toxic chemistry between people unfurl? These shows satisfy everybody's primal insticts to just snap at that coworker who keeps bugging you, or that neighbor who you can't stand. Examples include The Ultimate Fighter, The Real World, Big Brother, The Apprentice, and Project Runway.

4) All the Muck That's Fit to Rake
These are all the other shows that simply don't fit in anywhere else. Some are fun, some are garbage. It really just all depends. Examples include Last Comic Standing, America's Got Talent, and Iron Chef America.

Yes, I watch too much TV. Thanks. Now move along.